Slept On

Jankey West side Shrine

What the fuck is this?! This is why Baltimore is tight, because in the right neighborhood you can do whatever the fuck you want (save pushing drugs or murking someone) and the city doesn’t really care because they have bigger problem to deal with. I found this jownt wondering around the West side on some back ally on Stockton st. Clearly some cracker took it upon himself to build this jankey-ass shrine on what appears to be public property. In addition to the shrine itself, he has created a substantial sized pond by flooding the adjacent area with a stream of water that trickles down the rocks. And still no one cares. The walls surrounding the shrine have been painted with bible verses.(sorry I didn’t get any photos) The back of this guys property has been completely encaged in chicken wire fencing. There is a hand made sign that reads, “NO TRESSPASSING, violators will be shot and eaten by dogs.”…. wack. Inside his fenced off property I saw a medley of Whiskey-Tango debris: everything from iron scaffolding to a bleached cow skull. This dude is clearly a lunch box, but creative one. Minus the posted threats, I completely support this artistic ingenuity.  I reiterate, this is why Baltimore is quality. My mom always says Baltimore is a Southern City with a Northern façade. The city has unorganized southern mentality with an architectural structure of the Northeast. The Dirty North, if you will.

“violators will be shot and eaten by dogs” [Matthew 7:7-8]

March on Youth Jails

Last week a group of about five hundred of Charm City’s finest (and I don’t mean cops) marched through the streets of Baltimore to protest increased funding for youth jails. O’Malley Plans to spend $300 million dollars to build three new juvenile detention centers for the state. The protesters were mostly students and teachers.

If you didn’t know, they use 3^rd grade test scores from the No Child Left Behind act to determine how many prisons they are going to have to build. The deck is stacked.

“Arrest O’Malley! Arrest O’Malley!”

Curtis Bay: Industrial Wasteland/Playground

The fallout of American industry has economically fucked Baltimore. In its wake, the city has been left with a plethora of archaic industrial wastelands. However, scattered between stagnant train yards and abandoned factories, blue-collar labor still lives. Welcome to Curtis Bay.

Old industrial shit is dope and Curtis Bay is full of it. For the most part you can pretty much just wander around and checkout whatever you please. It is sparsely populated and most people just don’t give a shit you are there, frankly because there is not much to give a shit about. There are a lot of things that need to be climbed here.

“Were Not Detroit!”

Milford Mills “Swim Club”

If your tryin to see a nine year old Orthodox Jewish boy crank a back flip off a thirty foot rope into murky brown water, Milford Mills Swim Club in the place for you! (And lets be real who is not tryin to see that shit)

Milford Mills Swim Club is the truth. First off calling it a “Swim Club” makes it sound WASPy, when in reality its anything but. The facility (which looks like it was built circa 1950) is shoddily made, poorly maintained and a bit Whisky-Tango, thus making it even more fun and Baltimore-esk. Just make sure your up on your tetanus shots. There are a series of hefty rope swings strung up over a partially submerged quarry. Anyone who has the balls (and the ability to pass an easy swim test) can climb up to the sketchy rusted platforms, grab the knotted rope and swing out over the water. Quality. At the apex of your swing you can get a solid twenty feet without much effort, and even higher if you practice. If that doesn’t sound like fun to you, you’re a likely a buster and need to reevaluate you life choices. Regardless, in addition to the rope swings there is a volleyball court, horse shoe pit, snack bar, a couple old video games, and an indoor and outdoor pool. There is also a Ghetto-fabulous concrete beach, which you just have to see to comprehend. For all the movie lovers, the facility makes an appearance in the John Waters film Cry Baby as well as Barry Levinson film Liberty Heights. The “Swim Club” is out liberty heights Ave/Liberty Rd right over city line in Milford Mills, Baltimore County. Check it out, you wont be disappointed.

“Back Flip!”

“It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not get slept on.”

Wisdom of Confucius